


Of wrong moments and I love you's

by ArthursKnight



Category: The Belko Experiment (2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Declarations Of Love, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, they both live
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-22
Updated: 2017-12-22
Packaged: 2019-02-18 11:21:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13099032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArthursKnight/pseuds/ArthursKnight
Summary: Maybe it's not the right moment to say those words. They're going to die. Maybe it is, after all.





	Of wrong moments and I love you's

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, Y'all!  
> This is my entry for the Rookermas Exchange! It is for @youaremy-kindofman on Tumblr :D
> 
> I watched The Belko Experiment once, then watched the scenes with Bud and Lonny over and over to understand the characters. I don't know how this came out, but I hope you all like it!
> 
> As always, English is not my first language. Please point out mistakes, but don't be mean about it.
> 
> DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THESE CHARACTERS AND DO NOT MAKE MONEY OUT OF THIS WORK. ALL RIGHTS TO THE RESPETIVE OWNERS.
> 
> I'd like to thank @yondu-gonna-do-about-it and @rookerstash for betaing this work!

The door closed itself, a firm sound in the empty space; the only thing defending them from the others. Lonny knew deep inside that they are never going to be safe, that the Voice was going to kill them. He didn’t dare say anything about it. Saying it out loud would make it too real.

The greenish dim light illuminated the tubes and structures against the walls. No one but them was in the corridor, their breaths stressing every minute that passed. Both men kept walking, even though Lonny didn’t know how much he could resist down there. The air in the close space got harder to process. Heavier. Lonny took a long breath. Hotter.

Lonny’s grip on the wrench tightened. He looked back to make sure the door was really closed, running his hand through his humid locks. His heart was pounding faster and faster, yet he tried to keep it under control.

Sweat damped Lonny’s skin, and he felt a rivulet go down the back of his neck when he addressed Bud, his voice shaky.

“They are trying to freak us out by shutting down the air-co, man.” Lonny gulped; he blinked a few times, trying to get the sweat out of his eyes. He could only see Bud’s back, yet the way the older man stood straight and sure of himself sort of reassured him. It was not enough, but it was something. If Bud was calm, he could be too, right? Not for the first time after the crazy announcement, Lonny wished for Bud to hold him. The man’s touch always made Lonny feel safe. Cared for.

Bud kept silent. He just walked ahead, ignoring Lonny’s fear. Why? Worry rose in Lonny’s belly, acid going up his throat; his stomach ached, and he knew that if Bud wouldn’t say anything soon he’d lose his temper. Why didn’t the older man answer him? He turned his face around to check if anyone had followed them, then went back to stare at Bud’s bald head. The sweat made it shine, and Lonny fixed his eyes on it, breathing sharply. He frowned. Was he already going crazy? Why would he fix on something like this when they were going to fucking die?

Tears formed in Lonny’s eyes as he whined: “That’s their plan, right, Bud?” Still no answer. He sniffed, trying to control himself. Would they die here? What if they turned on each other? Lonny wondered if Bud was angry at him. Could be. That may be why Bud wasn’t answering him, no? He didn’t want to die knowing Bud was pissed off with him. “Right, Bud?” Lonny looked at the other man, then moved his gaze ahead.

The sound of their steps, Bud’s sure and his own hesitant, was the only thing that reached his ears. Lonny wondered what was going on upstairs, with everyone else in the same limited space. How long until they started to hurt each other? He took a sniff of Bud’s scent, a mixture of mint and grease that usually calmed him down. Not this time. And it did not help that there wasn’t any answer from the older janitor. Was he trying to make him insane?

“Mhm?” Pursing his lips, Lonny gulped and turned around, still following Bud. At least no one was following them. He hoped so. Lonny wasn’t sure of what he would do if someone decided they could be their sacrificial lambs. He shook his head. No good thinking about that. A single word from the older man could make him happy, could satisfy and reassure him, yet Bud remained silent. And his silence hurt more than Lonny cared to admit. “Do you think it is, Bud?” He tried again. “Do you think that’s their plan?”

“I don’t know, Lonny!” Bud’s exasperated answer made Lonny stop in his tracks. He watched the man get down to walk under a lower pipe, and nodded to himself. Bud was angry. Yet Lonny couldn’t understand if he was angry at him or at the situation.

Bud grunted, observing the machine. Lonny licked his lips at the raspy sound. He got where the other man was, observing his bent form as his eyes scanned the thing to find the issue. He wished for Bud to ignore the machine and look at him with those piercing blue eyes, telling him it was going to be alright. He imagined the man caressing him, giving him a head bump. Could Bud ever feel like he did for him?

“She’s down, alright.” Bud eyed the AC machine, his voice quiet.

“How can you tell?” Lonny internally sighed. How could Bud be so collected? He wanted to freak out, and here Bud was, thinking of only doing his job. He breathed in and out, trying to absorb some of the other’s calmness.

“I can hear it, man.” Bud fumbled with the machinery. “The pilot’s off. Everything.”

“Did they do it?” Lonny turned around. He didn’t know why, but he expected someone to appear out of nowhere. He trembled at the thought.

“I don’t know if they did it or not,” Bud sighed. “But… We’re gonna fix it.”

Lonny couldn’t resist anymore. Why the hell were they doing this? And why was Bud so fucking calm? Suddenly, that trait that he loved in the older janitor, which usually kept him grounded, started to irritate him. “They are trying to break us down so that we start killing each other, Bud,” he tightly muttered, trying to get some sense into his companion. Why was he so dense?

“You just need to relax, all right? Hmm?”

They both head the weird voice speak again, yet they couldn’t make out what it said. Something about death.Lonny’s eyes widened as his breathing got faster. Too fast. His heart pounded in his ears. He wanted to get outside. Could he make it out? Why were they doing this? What had they done to deserve to die? The tears that had threatened to run down earlier wet his hollow cheeks. “Bud...”

The fire alarm got off, a ringing that completely canceled out the Voice.

Lonny bent down, holding his head with his hands. “What is this? Bud, what is this?”

“Calm down, Lonny!” Bud hugged him. His arms were strong and firm, but Lonny shrugged against him anyway. “It’s just the fire alarm, Lonny!”

“Don’t tell me to calm down!” His clenched fist collided with something, probably Bud’s chest. A part of Lonny wanted to ask for forgiveness, but the panic was too strong. He shook his head, sobbing in Bud’s arms, and kept hitting the older janitor. “Damn it!” This was crazy. Why? Why were they doing this?

“Calm down!” Bud shoved Lonny against a wall and grabbed his wrists, holding them up with one hand.

Lonny shut his eyes, still crying. His lips were trembling, and he bit down hard. He felt blood in his mouth. Fear overwhelmed him, and he hated it. Hated that he was scared. Terrified. While Bud was so strong and calm.

The older man’s voice dropped in tone: “Lonny, calm down, a’right? I’mma protect you, Lonny.” He bumped his forehead against Lonny’s, as Lonny himself had wished before, and kept murmuring his name like a mantra.

Lonny took a long breath, nodding fervently. He concentrated on Bud’s soothing voice. “I’mma take care o’ you.”

“O-okay, Bud. Okay.” Lonny put his hand in the crook of Bud’s neck and breathed in the reassuring smell. His heartbeat slowed down a bit. He wished he’d told Bud about his feelings earlier. Before all of this went down, he thought he had all the time in the world to do it. Stupid. So fucking stupid. “Bud-”

“Yeah?” Bud squeezed Lonny’s wrists, then caressed the skin with his thumb. His stubble stung the younger man’s neck, and Lonny couldn’t control a small moan. He felt Bud’s small smile against his skin. “You gonna stay calm, uhm?” Bud’s voice sent shivers down Lonny’s back. He felt his cock throb against his work pants.

“Y-yes,” Lonny gasped as Bud tucked his free hand under his shirt. He felt the man’s fingers brush against his belly and going up to his nipples. “Please, Bud.”

Bud kissed his tears off, pressing his body against Lonny’s. “Shh.”

“Bud, I am so sorry.” Lonny felt new sobs in his throat, and he fought them down. His heart had finally calmed down, and he knew he had to say it now. There wouldn’t be any more chances. He knew they were gonna die with a dreadful certainty.

“For what?” Bud looked at him. Lonny lost himself into those cerulean eyes, savoring them as if seeing them for the last time. The words came out of him like a river, and he couldn’t stop them.

“I love you- I freaking love you and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before all of this and-”

“Shh. I knew.” Bud ran his hand through Lonny’s hair, then kissed his forehead.

“You knew?”

Bud nodded.

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“What was there to say?” Bud tilted his head. “I love you too. I guess I thought it was enough.”

“You love me?” Lonny gasped. Not even in his dreams he could imagine such a thing. Why did it have to happen now, when they were going to die? Why, God damn it?

Bud kissed him, and Lonny eagerly responded. He tasted of mint, exactly like he smelt, and it was sweet and Lonny wished it would never end. The older man let go of his wrists, and they hugged tightly, Bud pressing Lonny’s head on his shoulder.

“Now you’re calm.” Bud laughed. A rich laugh, and if it was the last thing Lonny heard before dying, he could die happy.

“Now I am calm.”

**Author's Note:**

> What did you think? ^_^


End file.
